I was born with a heart flutter, a little buzz in the chest cavity. Before long, I turned the flutter unto an outside object. Usually a boy. When I was two, my heart fluttered madly for my one year old cousin. Then when I was six, it fluttered madly again, for five year old Antoine. And so on… With more intensity. Soon my heart started fluttering for things, accomplishments and approval. I believed in ideas like “putting my heart into a task.” I thought that if my heart leaps it must be for something, for someone. And without any conscious intention, my heart started fluttering for things I imagined I lacked, and became a breeding ground for those illusions I called my shortcomings.

Today my heart flutters unto itself. It leaps for itself; with no object but its own fluttering. This connects me so strongly to the outside world, that some days, I do not perceive externalities.

Any impulse it has unto another object simply folds back into the heart. The energy harvested expands beyond the limits of my skin. We will power the grid this way, one day. And there will be enough and more for everyone. We will bake bread forever.

When the heart flutters unto itself, any feeling is transformed into love. Guilt, shame, envy and worry do not attach to an external object, and rebound into the heart. Blood turns into wine and back into blood: eternal harvest.

When the heart flutters unto itself, it becomes a force field from which Being, Action and Thinking emerge and into which they converge.

And everything feels like a miracle.
Everything feels like water on dry lips.

We are the Mystery at the heart of all things.

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